Have you ever been certain you could persuade someone because you had all the facts... and then failed? I have.
I prepare for a meeting. I go through the data. I put my arguments in order. I walk in thinking there can be no real disagreement. After all, we are talking about facts.
Then the questions begin. Someone challenges the source. Someone else finds data that seem to prove the opposite. And I realise my facts have arrived too late. The opinion is already formed.
Once an opinion is formed, we sometimes start looking for confirmation instead of checking whether we are right.
Not necessarily because we lack logic. Sometimes an old belief makes us feel safe. Sometimes it is convenient. Sometimes it protects decisions we have already made...
These days, I am less interested in asking: “How do I persuade someone who does not want to be persuaded?”
And more interested in asking: “What makes a reasonable person hold on so tightly to that belief?”
It seems to me that the most interesting conversations begin right there. Not with the facts. One layer deeper.
Have you ever entered a conversation convinced you were debating facts... only to realise it was about something else entirely — a role, identity, image, security, territory?
For work on the conversations and assumptions shaping your leadership, explore executive and business coaching. To bring these questions to a conference, corporate event or workshop, see keynote speaking.